Bullies and Respect
Bullies are in the news more and more these days. As parents, we would like to think that my child would never do that, but, if we are not paying attention, how will we know? My husband and I were talking the other night while watching a news story about the heartbreaking outcomes that result from kids tormenting other kids. Dave’s stance was that these kids who were bullying the other kids needed to be seriously reprimanded, I agreed, but I feel we need to take it a step further.
The problem is growing. Change starts with each of us, as parents, taking a good, long look in the mirror.
Our children mimic what they see us demonstrate though our actions and our words. When we treat others with respect, our children see that. They will be respectful to others as much as they see us being respectful. As caring adults, we all like to think that we set a good example. But ask yourself this:
- What have I said in front of my kids when I see a homeless person on a corner with a sign, Will work for food? Perhaps you mumbled, “Get a job,” or something worse in your child’s hearing?
- How about a driver who cut you off or was moving too slowly in front of you on the road. Have you lost your temper or said something that you would be shocked if your child were to say it?
These every day examples are the ones that teach our children how we view others and how they should be treated. In the first example, did you send a message of compassion and charity or one of contempt? In the second, did you show control or did you lack it? Kids who bully suffer from insecurities (which are normal in kids) and a sense that they are somehow better than the person they are tormenting. They often lack control of their actions and in the end the results can be tragic.
When we teach our children to respect others, regardless of what they appear to have or not have, we are teaching them compassion. When we demonstrate self control, we teach it to our children. When is being compassionate and respectful ever a bad thing? When is losing control a good one? Teaching our kids to be respectful of their family, teachers, friends, and even strangers is important, now more than ever. If we don’t instill a strong sense of what is right in our children, it just might be our child who is on the wrong side of the bullying equation.
Let’s work together to raise a generation of kids who lift each other up and are committed to helping everyone find their special place in the world. There are some wonderful online resources out there that you can access, like this site from the Department of Health and Human Services that has great tools for parents and kids.
Imagine getting a call from school to learn that your child stood up for what was right and shut a bully down by coming to the aid of another child. Wouldn’t that make you proud? I know it made me proud when my son Mason’s teacher shared with me that he did just that and stood up for a another child on the playground.
Be respectful, teach your children to be respectful, and everyone will benefit. It does work, but it starts with each of us!
About Kathleen Partak
Kathleen Partak has had many interesting jobs and careers, but none she’s loved as much as storytelling and writing. Being an avid reader of motivational, self-help, and short-story books, a career in writing seemed to be the natural progression. Her weekly email column, the Monday Motivator, began in 1999. She has penned this personal column every single Monday since then with the exception of one time—her husband made a guest appearance when Kathy gave birth to their son on a Monday.
In addition to her weekly column, Kathy has contributed to many Chicken Soup for the Soul books, including Chicken Soup for the Mother and Son’s Soul, New Mom’s Soul, Working Mom’s Soul, Love Stories,and My Resolutions. Kathleen lives with her husband Dave, son Mason, their dog Mr. Riley and cat Inca in Auburn, California.
You can chat with Kathy on Twitter @kdpartak and find more ideas at her Intentional Winning blog.
