The Art of Helping Children Practice Gratitude
With Thanksgiving coming next month, now is a good time to be focusing on the concept of gratitude with our children. What does it mean to feel grateful? Gratitude can be defined as “a means of having a feeling of thankfulness and appreciation.” Melodie Beattie, the author of many books about co-dependency, captured the definition of gratitude beautifully when she said “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” By focusing on the things in our lives that we are grateful for allows us to learn to just “be.” Too often we spend so much time going and doing, we forget about the small things in our lives that we can be thankful for.
We live in a hustle-bustle world and our children can get caught up in it. Many parents have their children packed into one activity after another, which doesn’t lend opportunity for them to do what I call “nothingness.” Nothingness doesn’t mean allowing our children to sit in front of a TV and watch mindless TV shows, it’s time for them to daydream, stare out the window and view the beautiful sky or weather, or just lay on their beds allowing their minds to drift to free floating thoughts. In a state of “nothingness,” children can get in touch with just “being” which opens their minds to appreciating what is around them. Appreciation leads to gratefulness.
By teaching our children the art of gratitude and how they can acknowledge what they are thankful for is truly a gift we can give them. Here are a few suggestions for helping children learn gratitude:
Practice the “My 5 Favorite Things to be Grateful For” Game- This game is a great approach for helping children shift negative thinking especially when they are having a tough day. It also is a wonderful way to instill taking time to reflect gratitude and thankfulness in their lives. While in a car driving them somewhere, at night before they go to sleep, or any time when they seem irritable or having a hard day, ask them to list 5 things in their lives past or present that they are thankful for. It’s best if the parent goes first since it models grateful thoughts. Start out with, “I’m grateful for…” and count on your hand 5 things that make you grateful or appreciative of life around you. It can be silly things, small things, or things that you are appreciative of them for. Ask your child to do the same thing. If they are having an especially tough day, gratitude helps shift the negative thoughts to more positive ones. Grateful thoughts can help them feel better.
Model grateful thoughts for children- Children are copycats and learn best through mimicking. When you set an example of practicing gratitude, they see it as something they can emulate. For example, when you experience something that you are grateful for say, “I’m so grateful for being able to see this beautiful flower.” Or “I’m grateful for being on this trip to experience these beautiful surroundings.” Make gratitude and expressing it an everyday happening. Children will begin to see it as a way of life to take the time and appreciate what is around them.
Teach appreciation of others and for things given to them- In a world that has become more and more materialistic, the best way parents can reverse the effects of materialism is by cultivating a sense of thankfulness and gratitude in their children. When a child receives a gift, talk about how nice it feels when someone thinks of them and help them write or draw a thank you note expressing this feeling of gratefulness to that person. Most of all, show how much you appreciate your child. Verbalize and demonstrate this gratitude and appreciation especially when your child does kind things for you and others. This is not only an excellent social skill that a child can learn but also gratitude increases their sense of connectedness to others and the world as well as increasing overall enjoyment of life.
